Stress and Strain Semantics! How to Resolve Stressful Life Dynamics not Just Manage Them in Perpetui
If you grew up in the sixties, you grew up with the Brady Bunch. There was a common theme about the angst that the middle female child Jan had about being a younger child and always complained about the older female sibling Marcia and how Marcia always was able to do what she couldn’t, how Marcia got away with so many things being the oldest female sibling, and consistently got preferential treatment. Jan would chronically lament “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia….”. Well, stress is the new “Marcia”. Everywhere you go from over heard conversations at coffee shops to psychotherapy sessions to medical research you hear everyone from laypeople to doctors to researchers lament “Stress, Stress, Stress….” as the modern siren song about the primary refractory idiopathic cause of illness, conflict, and discontent. And they are all wrong in their basic approach to this omnipresent challenge facing humanity because they have not described the stress dynamic completely and accurately.
It is always good to study the history of any phenomena to understand how it became relevant and to be described the way it has because many of people’s deeply held beliefs about things are wrong or seriously biased to the noninstructive as a result of a lack of this information. That is why all health practitioners including myself take health histories from patients or clients because their history is happening now. All dynamics have cumulative progressive effects. No disease or debilitation happens overnight. I have a saying “The problems of today were the solutions of yesterday”. Everything we are struggling with today was because of how we tried to solve a problem that has evolved into a much more challenging current state because of inadequacies of the original solution creation. And there is no area of life where this applies more to than how people have been erroneously taught to handle stress dynamics. And the constant diatribe about the detrimental effects of stress is ineffective in educating people how to resolve and manage stress dynamics better without helping people to understand what stress is and isn’t. Some of the greatest errors of omission and commission have been committed by well-meaning public policy makers, doctors, and human potential proponents by using the term stress as something that is mechanical and objective when it is metaphorical and subjective in its current semantic use. Subjectivity in thinking leads to operative passivity. The mind needs to take all subjective constructs and recontextualize them as a group of objective constructs in order to understand their dimensionality especially on a time level and to be able to plan out specific axiomatic and progressive steps to resolution or completion. There are so many subjective notions, concepts and metaphors in life which people attempt to understand and improve their relationship with like life, love, and happiness. Without understanding how these subjective notions were created from objective experiences originally it is very difficult to relate to them in constructive ways. No human has ever experienced the total dimensionality of any subjective reality like love or life so their definition and description of it will be biased by those experiences. And those biases become indoctrinated observation, interpretation and actuation of the mind. Distortions either from lack of inclusion or exclusion in these formative and progressive mental constructs will generate subjective cognitive states which can either be beneficial to the person in terms of sustainability through positive adaptation or detrimental. These polar states of sentient experience are called cognitive resonance and cognitive dissonance. Unabated and poorly contextualized subjective experiences can lead to dominant states of cognitive dissonance which can chain through multiple adaptation determination and actuation states in the mind and brain and cause numerous forms of acute and chronic biological maladaptation or what everybody consistently colloquially calls stress. This is like calling a hurricane "a lot of atmospheric moisture moving around". So we need active solutions to solve active problems. That is the first criteria of satisfaction of any cognitive dissonance/maladaptation state resolution plan because stress dynamics are active in people's lives now 24/7. It is great to get stress relief through taking vacations, getting rest, meditating, and simplifying one's life but all of these solutions are passive and don't address the primary reasons why people are stressed. And that is ontological stress or angst. Yes, many people are in chronic states of having low resources, poor resource utilization strategies and poor outcome definition leading to a multiple of concurrent, chronic stress dynamics in their lives which consistently overload the parts of the brain that equivocate the value and extent of cognitive dissonance that can be handled by the person. That is the most common stress dynamic state for which everyone has some challenge with. Even wealthy people who do not have some of the typical stresses that people having wealth challenges have, have other stresses in the form of often oppressive expectations and performance demands. And rich people die too. Wealth does not guarantee health. If people manage to handle these lower order Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs stresses, they still face other kinds of cognitive dissonance states which can be highly chronic and disruptive which are more ontological than logistical in nature such as trying to define who somebody is and what their purpose in life is. And inevitably that means the desire for greater and more enduring life satisfaction which means increased complexity which brings with it stressors. So there is no escaping stress dynamics whether you are a janitor or Bill Gates...just different.
Throughout my industry, practitioners and coaches are trying to take a very subjective metaphor and reduce or construct it as an objective mechanism and have failed wildly, and as a result, people are more stressed out than they have ever been despite vast efforts to the contrary because the strategies they are being taught are not functioning to resolve stress dynamics at their proximal or initial states. The reason for this is that people have forgotten what that visceral state was and how it felt. They can only cognate on their current state and not the progenitive state. They are treating stress symptoms and not stress causes. There isn't coherent thinking in this area and since stress has been so poorly defined by everyone, metrics regarding stress dynamics are ambiguous at best, contradictory at worst. Not a day goes by where somebody says how bad stress is for you and how somebody else says that it is good for you. Without the proper stress dynamic understanding on a global objective and individual objective level, the narrative about sustainable stress dynamic resolution and management is moot. Most of what people are doing will either not resolve stress or could make it worse because they have just chosen some polar perspective that potentially comes with worse stressors. I cite my experience with people with immune disorders later on as a pertinent and common example. In fact, many people are stressed out from trying to manage the copious sources of stress in their lives. More information about what can stress people like GMOs in food though helpful on an individual information provision level causes chronic cumulative stress for that person. The subgenual prefrontal cortex which equivocates information in the brain for how disruptive it is to the host and their sustainability paradigms is being chronically overloaded with multiple streams of concurrent stress dynamics from multiple often ambiquous sources so most people are just in constant state of overload or near overload from a cognitive perspective so they get into repetitive reactive modes which are hard to break out of like chronic worry. So just like one coloring or additive in food will not kill you or make you sick, the proliferation of numerous toxic food additives accumulated in the body over time can. So what people are really stressed by is not just the big things but the massive amounts of little things to the point people either go insane, break down or go into a ignorance is bliss mode in life. Stressors have to be qualified in relevance based on an accurate absolute notion of being potentially stressful and on a relative level based on individual potentiality for any narrative about stress to be instructive and beneficial. Each person on many levels has different levels of nascent psychological and biological resilience and availability of tools for resolution and support in life. So we just can't paint stress with some broad general stroke and we have to personalize stress narratives to be accurate and selectivce in our awareness and handling of stress to have positive effects on self-sustainability via effective adaptation. What I teach in this article will do just that for people. Take stress from the subjective domain applied generally to the individual to the objective domain applied specifically to the individual by logically conjuncting each individual with their stress dynamic states through proximal visceral awareness. And it basically requires a simple semantic recontextualization to do so. People’s lives are being destroyed by unresolved stress dynamics and those who are suffering from unresolved stress related conditions often feel crippling negative stigmatism or shame because they feel they are inferior and not living up to idealized standards of baseline functionality in life.
Just about everybody has invested considerable amounts of time, money, energy and thought into what stresses them. And this investment has had a very low ROI and has sprouted numerous industries, fads and entire national health policies that have often confused the matter even more. If you are in my field of health treatment and human potential realization (neuroscience and biochemistry being my thing) and you are not talking about the massive eventual morbidity and mortality effects of stress then you simply are considered uneducated or a slacker. And yet I have not heard one person or practitioner get it right ever. Yet they speak with such passion and conviction on this subject and then people adopt that passion for their approach. Here is the problem. It is semantics, And in this case, semantics means the difference between joyful wondrous success and miserable confusing failure. The reason why the life dynamic called stress is so poorly handled is because it is so poorly understood. And that is a function of being poorly conjuncted as a cause and effect dynamic semantic narrative. And the reason for that is that it was originally contextualized and defined poorly and nobody has bothered to change the context to fit the actual situation…well at least until I came along with mathematics, logic and chemistry that provides for actual metrics, strategies, and principles that actually apply. People are applying poorly contextualized assertions to the challenge of stress contextualization accuracy and applicability. Most people have thrown in on the notion of stress reduction and management without really knowing what they needed to do first was stress contextualization. Or more accurately stress dynamic semantic conjunction correction. This has caused people to take toxic drugs, follow gurus and give up their possessions, join toxic religions and create a lifestyle almost exclusively about indirect stress management rather than direct life fulfillment. A lot of stress management advice I see being proposed is either ineffective, trivial or simply cannot be applied in extreme biological and psychological spiraling states of dysfunction like people who are so stressed that they are sleep deprived and now sleep deprivation is adding a level of additional stress which is unmanageable. If you have gotten tired of some high-minded doctors or new age experts telling you the cure to stress is getting better sleep, taking time out for yourself and getting out into nature and you reflexively want to put your aching foot through the TV or computer screen because this is such obvious advice which you cannot implement because of numerous challenging life conditions you are not alone. My practice is filled with overworked, abused, disabled and disheartened people who have done everything they can to try to reduce stress in life because they know how much it is keeping them in negative life condition spiral yet they can do little about it. That is until they come to me and somebody actually explains to them what stress is and what they can do proactively about it on a fundamental level on a step by step basis by prioritizing stress resolution needs instead of just trying to take on the huge world of life stress in one shot. Most of this well-meaning advice by people in my industry simply lacks the rigor needed to actually help most people. The silliest advice I have ever heard coming from a so called new age teacher was to build a Koi pond in your backyard. Well, what if you don't have a backyard? Do you need to wait until you can afford to move someplace where you can? What if you are working 3 jobs? What if you suffer from chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia? I am not being fatalistic here. I am being realistic. A good strategy people can use is better than a perfect one you can't. And most stress reduction recommendations nowadays are for people with ample resources...which are the people who are ironically the least stressed. So this is the real boondoggle of this narrative. It takes time, money, energy and consciousness to successfully and sustainability to manage or resolves ongoing high levels of stress in life which many people simply do not have. If they are going to invest limited resources in a stress resolution strategy it better be about what is really stressing them. Most people need a progressive stress resolution strategy that can be taken in manageable steps not an Anthony Robbins Maui fire-walk for 10 grand.
I saw this intimately in the 80s when I first started out as an NLP practitioner and nutritional biochemist working with medical doctors in the area of clinical ecology, allergies, and immune competency disorders. People were spending all of their expendable income and time going to practitioners and often expensive and poorly timed empirical testing. I have had an operative advantage over most practitioners because I am a rigorously trained applied and actuarial mathematician which who has studied health dynamics on a population basis extensively while having a great deal of individual experience with people as a nutritional biochemist. So I see where the global subjective narratives often break down when applied to the individual objective ones because of the nature of the information and derived assumptions and assertions people are using. You simply can't assert it worked for you so it will work universally well for others. That is why the internet is filled with so-called cures for every ailment proposed by nonrigorous nonscientific people that propose models and paradigms like the cause of all diseases are parasites because parasites are ubiquitous in the human species. But so is eating food so does the mere act of eating food cause illness? Not intentionally or maliciously these people have done something called P-Hacking or using treating any statistical P-Value (statistical relevance) as relevant regardless of the context of the information and how it was gained and for what purpose. That is a function of lack of information, understanding and experience. I just don’t adopt concepts and practices based on thinking that was not systems thinking and coherent logic based. I am a research mathematician and chemist so I can understand the implications of the research being done and form much better critical assertions than people without rigorous logical and scientific training. On average most studies done regarding health are contradicted by other studies. And the nature and scope of stress dynamics are one of the worst. The allergy (allergic stress) sufferers I helped all had their primary doctors and specialists and a slew of alternative practitioners they were going to each promising comprehensive cure and collectively often burdening the person's system with oonflicting induction dynamics often with the left hand not knowing what the right was doing, They had cobbled together an incoherent collection of treatments which were seldom complimentary and never optimized for the highest mutual benefit. Some practitioners were competent and helpful, some were neophytes promoting simplistic cures to complex problems, and others complete charlatans taking advantage of people’s vulnerability and lack of knowledge. My first thought is this is an untenable long-term strategy for complex condition resolution. But it was what everybody was doing and nobody questioned the veracity of it because they simply did not know what their options were in terms of comprehensive coherent care. Nobody had both concise and inclusive narratives about these newly discovered cause and effect dynamics so the first thing that seemed statistically relevant people went with. I was the person making the claim the emperor had no clothing. It was sacrilegious at that time to question the operative paradigms that ruled the thinking of both doctors and alternative practitioners at the time because on both sides of the coin everybody was invested in finding the cure to whatever ailment and predicament their life work became about rather than understanding the complex dynamics of biology and other ontologies of relevance. So many practitioners were using one shoe fits all approaches so most of the people coming to me basically had a bunch of ill-fitting shoes instead of a system of integrated top-down hierarchy treatment on an axiomatic and progressive level. Thank god they were getting some proactive beneficial help from this approach but it was not sustainable or in the long term that effective.
Everyone had their stress induced operative functionality narrative based on the bias of their training and experience. Allergic stress. Nutrient deficiency stress. Lack of mindfulness stress. Parasite stress. Or bowel toxicity stress. I am not saying that any of these stressors taken into the context of total stress dynamics might not be operating. The problem is when it is all or nothing proposition because people have failed to look at the entire dynamic domain and were in a rush to judgment either because of despair, lack of availability of specific services, or lack of due diligence. In each model what had become imbued into the conceptuality was some ill-developed mystical thinking about stress because of a lack of understanding of stress dynamics. The functional medical doctors and their preoccupation with orthomolecular constructs of antioxidant chemistry and the supposed omnipresent stress this was putting on cell morphology and sustainability dynamics and alternative practitioners who thought you could cure any ill with some completely spiritually zen and sanitary diet. Both fallacies of epic proportions because of what they leave out operatively because of what they have exclusively included. A lot of pet theories about phenomenology which don't actually bare out in truth because they are so myopic in their focus. Every day some researcher starts a start-up tech company selling some new “reverse aging" product which is some very selective critical intermediate that can play an operative corrective role in cell physiology. But there are thousands of these. Cell biology and chemistry dynamics are far more complex than that. So it is not just some ill-informed new age do-gooder making hyperbolic claims of efficacy out of context but actual PhD. researchers doing the same because they spent numerous years developing an exhaustive understanding of selective physiological dynamics and then erroneously apply that to everybody without any empirical metabolic assessment to determine individual need. Their assertion is aging is a form of stress that can be reversed if you can just find that one thing all cells need and don’t have enough of. And if you knew anything about nutritional biochemistry you would know what a biased and myopic perception that is. That is like a doctor saying he found one drug to treat all symptoms. But the average lay person has to weed through a mountain of selective assertion and bombastic proclamation to find the truth.
The problem is none of these technologies deal with the most proximal operating functionality called sentience which on a physiological level becomes complex real-time biochemical regulation. Just throwing a supplement into the body does not mean the body can use it optimally. Often times long term deficiency states lead to reduced functional control in the brain of that nutrient based metabolic pathway. The body is about real time operative homeostasis not some anthropological theoretical notion of purity. Certain levels of different kinds of stressors can alter homeostatic dynamics profoundly in the short term and permanently in the long term. People were falsely being convinced by less than ethical clinical ecologists and allergists that every problem they had was caused by some allergy or hypersensitivity. I tell people whatever practitioner you go to they will contextualize your condition based on their modality concept and practices. I am not saying this is wrong per se. If somebody comes to me they will get a bias towards biochemistry and neuroscience. But the difference is how I arrived at my modality choice and expression and how that was a very long well examined inclusionary process and not just something I fell into and never questioned the veracity of because I lacked the scientific rigor and willingness to do so. And i contextualized it from a relevance level on have pertinent it was to most people's challenges. I lecture alternative practitioners all the time who are very helpful and ethical people who have reached the upper limit of their functionality because of the limits of their modalities and will continue to be challenged in that area unless they integrate other modalities into their practice. Which is stressful on many levels for them because that means accepting new normality and phenomenological progression paradigms and logistical implementation challenges. But almost every quack and competent professional has universally agreed that in addition to what they do the other primary destructive factor in your life is stress. I am not saying people did not have these allergies. They were part of a constellation of structure/function threats to the immune system but the assumption was that the immune system was stressed so the smart thing to do was to determine what the immune system was stressed by and then try to reduce the stressors at the level of the immune system which is very simplistic thinking. You can always reduce your gas consumption by not driving but that may not be practical or advisable. In this case immune system stress reduction meant eliminating the offending allergens from the diet and environment. Which in many cases was basically impossible unless you want to live in a cabin by yourself in the high Sierras. But for many highly allergic people that meant a profound elimination of potentially nutritive foods also. And believe me, the allergy doctors had plenty of substantive evidence to consider this to be the best approach show this was somehow the case with all of the pollutants in the environments and partial food fragments in their unbalanced denatured diets. I have worked with Vietnam vets with agent orange poisoning but this is not the case with the typical multi-allergic person where one predominant biochemically stressful factor had so uniquely determined the inertia of the pathology. Most chronic allergy sufferers have a diverse and complex physiological and psychological stress dynamic scenarios where numerous factors are acting in multiplicative and cumulative ways so any narrative that puts so much emphasis myopically will fail because of all of the other concomitant factors that have not been addressed especially genetic and developmental metabolic function. As a chemist trained in food chemistry I could concur that there are many negative factors that stress physiological sustainability in the industrialized American diet but this does not provide enough explanation for why people eating the same diet are not grievously suffering as multi-allergic people. But people were running out of time and money and fortitude. I called it “treatment chemotherapy”. What is going to kill you first the disease or the treatment? The allergens or the complete collapse of the functionality of the organoleptic brain and dopamine-dependent reward systems? I took people off the major offenders in the short term, tossed the rest of the test results in the trash, and then rebuilt their metabolic systems.
I embarked on a novel path at that time. I asked the question: What is causing people’s immune problems? It was not the immune system, it was the metabolic systems that support immune function. As a nutritional biochemist, I set out to correct the underlying metabolic problems that were the major reasons for stress on the immune system. This turned out to be a very manageable and successful approach that did not rely on any one function to be optimal before progressive resolution could take place.The same thinking needs to be applied to stress dynamics. What is so difficult in developing a stress challenge strategy today is that stressors are in great abundance and can change rapidly from day to day. This means the cortexes of the brain which equivocate stressful dynamics are being pushed way beyond their functional limits on a regular basis. The Yerkes-Dodson law which determines how much upregulation is needed for reward creation is being completely undermined. Multiple systems are being pushed beyond their upper limits of functionality causing progressive cascades through multiple compensatory systems creating a constellation of diverse ineffective redundant responses and often undeterminable symptom sets. These have now become known as syndromes. Refractory idiopathic (difficult to resolve without discrete ecological paths of cause and effect) syndromes like multi-allergic conditions are the fastest growing medical conditions nowadays. My programs of axiomatic and progressive resolution of fundamental resilience challenges based on empirically determined viability of sustainability was both very successful and manageable.
The first professional casualty for these people is that they no longer needed either medical or nontraditional allergy treatment. Take that time and money stress off the table. Their membranes and organs became much stronger and they no longer needed regular visits to the chiropractors, acupuncturists and body workers as much as they needed before as structural integrity improved because the progenitor membranes of their bones, muscles, nerves and connective tissue could operate at upper levels of functionality because they were being provided the metabolic backbones and matrixing molecules to regenerate structural tissue in real time. And this increased tissue integrity meant better life flow conduction and retention. Another form of day to day logistical stress taken off the table. And they no longer needed constant guidance by therapists, gurus etc because much of their stress in life was caused by their health challenges at an operative level for which these practitioners were not treating them for on any level. I centralized and optimized their care until they only needed occasional structural, medical, ancillary alternative and psychological care for their more refractory conditions for which that specialty was specific to that challenge instead of just going to practitioner after practitioner for all sorts of overlapping logistical and paradigmatic general provision. Simplification through optimization. This is how I design all my programs of intervention because I am trained as solution theory and strategic optimization mathematician. I am a mathematician and scientist who studies the nature of solutions whether it be logical, visceral or logistical. I just don’t provide people with solutions that have been historically used in the past which have all sorts of observational, interpretative and actuation biases which may be antagonistic to proximal contextualization of a phenomenon. Lay people just don’t realize that most disease classifications that doctors use are semantically incorrect because the original people who did the research only discovered a part of the cause and effect phenomena and then classified that condition based on initial observations…..and by far the concept and application of the notion of stress has been the worst. Every problem we have today is an error at a proximal state of origination which got magnified and multiplied over time. Incomplete poorly contextualized solutions are filled with errors of omission and commission which will magnify over time. The worst are cultural philosophies people adopt thinking they have engendered themselves to complete solutions for complex challenges when in fact hey have invested in oversimplification and hyperbole. And from top to bottom our society has a stress management culture that lacks real rigor conceptually and vigor on a sustainable implementation level. A recipe for failure. As a chemist, I correct core metabolic dynamics that cause multiple organic challenges of reduced functionality in the body. As a mathematically based neuroscientist, I look at the semantic dynamics driving people's linguistic narratives (their stories) which are causing reduced cognitive functionality including self- awareness, self-correction capacity and decision making.
There was a brilliant chemist and endocrinologist from Hungary who taught and treated people in Canada in the 1930s who developed the first coherent transitive description of biological and sentience induction and adaptation phenomena called Hans Selye. He is considered the father of the notion of stress. His contribution has been invaluable in both the definition and treatment of stress-related disorders. But it was the 30s and the knowledge and technology of that time was far inferior to what we have today. He took a physics term called “stress” and applied it to biological systems sustainability. He came up with the Hans Selye curve which predicts the basic transitive functional competence (resilience) of biological systems under stress. But the problem was that Selye was not a computational semantics and linguistics scientist. He did not invent the word stress but from that time on because this omnipresent notion of negative dynamic causation in biological systems stress, it became the proximal semantic proposition of choice when addressing sentient biological systems adaptation challenges. Stress is everywhere. It has mostly a negative connotation when in fact it can be either a negative or positive experienced condition when using the actual physics definition of it. Every process in the universe is some form of induction and adaptation process whether it be how the human immune system responds to a pathogenic attack or a baseball responding to being hit by a bat. In each case, some original inertial state was altered by some different inertial state and now the original inertial state of the affected system has been significantly altered. Stress is an induction state whether that state from an inertial composition perspective is an electrodynamic, chemical, thermodynamic or mechanical one. But stress is not the adaptation state. People are talking as it is. Everyone is saying they are “stressed out”. This is not true. By saying it that way that are contextualizing the original inertia change induction states as the responding consequential inertial change state within the affected system. They are confusing cause and effect. People have also recontextualized stress as very arbitrary, ubiquitous, and indeterminable psychosomatic states which include the specific sentient and kinesthetic states like confusion, despair, and frustration. Now there is just something called “stress” in people’s lives. Again nothing happens in the universe without some inertial induction change (stress) affecting some system causing a shift in that system’s inertial states. Stress in physics is a very particular, discernible and determinable inertia state such as forces of redirected airflow around an airplane wing at different speeds which are called torsional stresses.
So we need to contextualize our semantic narratives of stress to go from some incomplete, subjective, global psychodynamic narrative state to a complete, objective, specific psychosomatic one. And for that instructive process to take place so that we can gain constructive positive control over the life dynamics that have caused one to experience suffering, we must use the constructivism transitive conclusion description or what is called “Strain”. We are not stressed, we are strained. Stress is what happens to us, strain is what happens within us. Try this on for size the next time you have a sense of negative stress in your world and you want to understand how to relate to it better so you can determine what operative control you may have over it. Instead of saying “My job is stressing me out”, detail exactly what the stress is in the dynamic of strain you are experiencing. In order to learn from our experience, which is the first step of constructive progression which evolves sentience to a higher level which is the primary proximal creative force of the universe, we need to contextualize the entire progression in a much more accurate instructive way. And that means completing the semantic conjunction or in this case how stress transforms into strain. For example, the real instructive semantic could be “My boss is making me do the job of two people because he has fears about the economy and doesn’t want to hire more people and as a result, I never know when I will get out of work daily. This has thrown my personal life into chaos because I can no longer plan anything with my family and they cannot rely on me being able to follow through with my promises and commitments. This is causing a great deal of strain on my relationship with my wife and children because they can no longer rely on me as a husband and father to be there for them in life which is making me feel like I have to choose between high standards of professional or personal conduct which I don’t want to do. I am ashamed I am not handling this condition better and causing my family whom I love to suffer unnecessarily. As a result of the strain this is causing on my family, I feel this strain within me as muscle tension, headaches, anxiety, temper outbursts and digestive problems”. It is that simple to start understanding what is going on a visceral, logical and logistical perspective from a stress and strain dynamic in your life and therefore within yourself. We actually cannot feel stress, we can only feel strain.
This is not just making up some words, this is the language the mind uses to interact with the brain and body and create all of your experiences. The Stress/Strain conjunctive narrative will activate the parts of your brain which are observing, interpretation and actuating on the entire mental adaptation sequence and neurochemical topology level and be able to understand each step of the chain of events and experiences which are resulting in psychosomatic and relational suffering. If you don’t know the visceral, logical and logistical considerations of any challenge you cannot solve it completely and adequately. At least at this point, that person can understand their choice challenge because we cannot make good life decisions if we don’t have good life choices. From this instructive state, this person can start to understand what they are feeling on an adaptation or strain level. And because we do not want to strain our bodies or our relationships to the point of extreme dysfunction or destruction, the body, mind and spirit will send signals and sensations to the person to let them know how that stress in their lives is causing strain in themselves and others. It is a simple and critical reframe or contextualization of the challenge by introducing complete stress and strain dynamic narratives back into one’s life experience narrative. Every symptom or problem a client tells me about is their personal life narrative and how they can no longer adapt in a positive way to life inertial changes because of how they have learned to talk about themselves and their capacity for positive change in life. With this new instructive information about what the stress is in your life and the strain it is causing within you, you can now start creating solutions which address the entire stress and strain dynamic on a very objective and specific level because we can only take action to correct a negative external and internal condition when we have very specific objectives to operate from on an actuation level.
The reason why it is so important to describe any dynamic in life from its most fundamental functional conjunctive perspective (in this case stress and strain) is because then people can then come up with a positive induction and adaptation decision scenarios or solutions. And then they can be much more self-instructive and corrective including choosing the right mentors to help them with their challenges instead of throwing themselves at the mercy of any practitioner who claims to have solutions to their problems. I deal with this every day with clients. I tell them regardless of the specific condition they have they have all suffered from bad advice. Some person told them something that was not true ever or not true for them. The only way people are going to understand what is true for them and support the right needs, preferences and temperaments is to have a way to progressively contextualize their experience completely. As in this hypothetical case of the ‘stressed out" executive…which I have dealt with hundreds of times in actuality, often the loving acceptance realization is that they right now do not have much operative control over their job situation unless they want to renegotiate their job relationship and most people need some form of leverage they can use to do that. They might just have to put in the effort to find a better employer who is not paranoid about the future and is focused on meeting real present and future company needs. But that will often require greater consent and cooperation from their families to do that. Their job might be a function of inadequate career choices in the past leading them to poor job or income production decisions. They may realize they are limited in what they can do in the short term but could be doing something very constructive in long term and go back to the family and ask them to support them in making long-term career changes and find out from each family member what short term sacrifices they would be willing to make so the income earner in the family can keep their promise to be an available and helpful spouse or parent while also providing economically for the family. They can engage the family in the process and empower them to help the entire family instead of feeling disappointed and without any operative control of their life conditions…in the case the level of participation by the parent. This is a very common family dynamic nowadays. He could renegotiate with his family and prioritize and consolidate their activities so everybody feels included in not only family activities but decision making which will come in really useful in life when those children grow up and become spouses and parents.
That is just one constructive negotiation that could come from the realization that there are multiplicative family challenges which will need sophisticated solutions for stress dynamic resolution. And sophistication starts with the restoration of functional conjunctive narratives (cause and effect) and the use of the right terminology. We need to approach our personal lives and experience with the same rigor we apply to our professional aspirations. Every potentially good relationship that has failed is because ultimately from a lack of rigor applied to the relationship. Relationships are not dumping grounds for our personal problems or where we take no responsibility for outcomes and develop mastery. The number one reason men have given that they committed infidelity is that they felt their spouse did not care about them and their experience and had unrealistic and unfair expectations about what they should and can provide. They go have an affair with somebody who they do not think will have the same expectations. They think they are doing something positive to reduce their stress in life when in fact they are just delaying dealing it and compounding it. I don’t moralize people, I educate them to be able to better so they do not have to impulsively resort to these kinds of addictive behaviors which all get started because of an inability to conjunct stress and strain dynamics effectively and take proactive corrective action with the real source of their stress. There are many forms of stress that many people experience commonly but each individual feels strains differently. By the time most people come to me they are in a generally stressed out state and have lost most of the coherency of realization of where their stress started and how to resolve strain dynamics better. That is the intervention option I give them. Having affairs, abusing drugs and lashing out at loved ones is not a good way to handle the stress of multiplicative and often contradictory life urgency and priority pressures. Self-awareness, re-negotiation and communication is the better way. But the only way people are going to go from highly frustrated, reactive and nonconstructive cognitive and somatic states which are poor communication states to pragmatic, honest and constructive communication states is to nip the entire stress dynamic in the bud by describing the actual physics of the problem. You would never go see a baseball game and when asked by somebody unfamiliar with that sport what happened by saying “The ball mysteriously moved around the field for 2 hours”. That would not be instructive at all and unless the listener is into magic they would not be motivated to see a baseball game. But if you described the role the pitcher, batter and fielders play in the process and how the ball and players move around, the listener might want to engage further in the activity. The only way we are going to want to solve our problems in life is to be able to describe them adequately to ourselves so we can understand how each structure from jobs to relationships function in our lives and how to relate to them better. That way we can communicate better what we need from others to get support. Anything of any relevance in life can bring with it potential negative stressors and subsequent strains. As people look to make their lives more satisfying that inevitability adds complexity. So the only way we can increase complexity and satisfaction at the same time is to understand what stressors are common to that activity or commitment and be as proactive as possible in their management . And we have to be able to resolve past stress and strain dynamics before taking on new ones if we want to be proactively successful. If you ask somebody to do this process, they will be able to articulate what the actual specific stress is and what is actually the strain they are feeling and then ask them to tell you where they feel that strain in their bodies and they will be able to communicate it immediately. We have very complex and sophisticated real-time mechanosensory, proprioceptor and nociceptors neurons in our body's to do just that. And then people can see how not dealing with the stressors in life are straining the sustainability of specific organs and relationships, they will be much more motivated to change because they have a way to understand the consequence of not changing and have specific strategies for positive change.
We need to talk about our lives in a way our brains have logically evolved to understand not how we have been taught to colloquialize and generalize complex objective dynamics. And I help people from that point forward to construct better strategies for challenge resolution and opportunity creation based on what that person is experiencing specifically in their lives. That is the best way for them to resolve excessive stress and strain dynamics by taking proactive measures to improve their capacity for strain induction thereby preventing further maladaptation states and resolving past ones thereby freeing their intellectual, spiritual and physical resources for use to fulfill positive aspiration rather than manage past desperation.